The Witness
“Well…she went in
there, and told the first witness, “Waise ya wite hand. Ya na ya cain’t lie- wite?
If ya dooze, ya can goes ta jail.” He mimicked her, and continued, “When the
fellow said I do she said, “Youse bin deposed.”
“Ya pulling my leg,
uh?”
“Honest that’s how
she did it, so we want to make sure we have a more professional job with the
next guy. We don’t want to look half baked again. Ya understand?”
“Absolutely!”
“Okay then, see ya in
a few.”
Fortunately for me the witness was late, and
we had to wait. So I called my agent, told her that I needed to do another
signing, and these folks weren’t ready. She got on the phone with their guy,
and negotiated a higher price. I wind up getting two hundred and twenty five
spendoodits for forty minutes work. The same guy came back, and told me they
had agreed to Mary’s terms. I never found out what they were. But, if I was
getting two twenty five, she must have been getting close to five. The guy
wasn’t pleased, so I told him I had nothing to do with it, and gave him my card
for the next time. Anyway, ten minutes later, the witness shows up, and they
call me.
I walked in, looked
at the arbitrator,
“Good afternoon,
sir.”
He smiled, and silently directed me to the
witness. I walked over to the witness table, and addressed him,
“Please stand, raise
your right hand,” and with my best poker face, I read right out of my primer: “Do you solemnly, sincerely, truly declare,
and affirm that the statements made by you are true, and correct to the best of
your knowledge, and belief?”
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