Saturday, August 27, 2011


The Life of Job

     They had all of their clothes in sealed plastic bags for fear of letting the bugs out. He even went out and bought some Halon, and sprayed it in each bag. He hoped to suffocate the bugs, because Halon eats up oxygen. His place looked like a dump, there were garbage bags everywhere. Everything had to be washed, or put in the dryers. After three weeks of pesticide treatments, the bugs were still comfy in their new home.

    “Man, we’re living outa laundry bags dude,” He told me one day.

     A week after they were back down stairs, he developed a boil on his lower gum, and TMJ at the same time. He couldn’t eat steak, meat or any kind of hard food, and was on a diet like a new born, eating only soft creamy foods, or soup for three weeks.

     “Da quack tol me not to chew, man.”

     On top of that, the dude has three grown sons, none of whom were there to help him move his stuff. They were just not available to help him move his stuff back forth. The one at home was sick, his asthma flared up, a reaction to the fresh paint, and or whatever pesticides were used on the bugs. This happened twice within three weeks, and he had to be taken to the emergency room, where each time they spent the night, and a small fortune because the kid has no insurance.

     Since his service had to be taken upstairs, and back again, the cable company screwed up his bill. They gave him three different account numbers, one for each apartment. Go figure! He had his original account number; then they gave him one for the upstairs apartment; and then another one for his old place. They screwed up his automatic debit, and they stopped collecting the bill. He got way behind on on his bill, the service was interrupted, and he missed his Yankees’ games.

     “Man, I ain’t seen a game ina week, bwa.”

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