Day CCXCV

At The Clinic

     “Wat took ya so long dude?”

     Before I could answer, someone called out,

     “Mista Montgomery!”

     “Woaaa, wat luck dude, det’s me, man.”

    He handed the paper back to me, and schlepped up to an old nurse who looked like she should have retired long ago. As a matter of fact she looked a lot like Cloris Leachman in Young Frankenstein. For a moment I felt his pain because she looked like a no nonsense soul, and seemed to look right through him.

     “Vat can vee do fer you sir,” she asked through her thinly spread lips, as she led him to an examination room.

     Later he told me that in the back, the nurse took all of his particulars, and as she took his pulse,

     “I’m still alive, uh?” he smiled.

     “I guess,” she deadpanned without a smile, and continued taking his blood pressure, temperature, and other stats.

     “Ven vas the last time you saw a doctor?”

     “When my mom took me…a long time ago.”

     “Vat a grown man like youself…vell, vie are you here?”

     “Cuz I’m sick an need to see a quack.” The minute he said it, he knew he’d put his foot in mouth.

     “I beg your pardon.”

     “I’m sorry, I meant a doctor.”

     “Is that vat you teenk of them?”

     “Oh no, no no…it’s jest that I mind, was wondering, I remembered a joke my friend told me.”

     “Reelly, do you vant to share?”

     “Oh no no, it’s really a very silly yoke…I mean joke.”

     “Okay then, so vie are you here? Vie do you feel you need to see a quack, as you like to say?” He could see that she was really upset.

     “Well Ms. Noise, I bin hasing chills, I feel like I has a fever.” He nervously responded.

     “Vell your temperature is a liddle high. Vat else?”

     “Palpitatations…I feel em, I bin dizzy sometimes, and I feel like my bones ache too.”