Day CCXCVI

Da Quack

     “Are you on acid,” she asked, matter-of-factly, not even looking at him as she continue to scribble on her pad.

     “Do I look like a hippy ta ya?” he asked.

     “Hippies aren’t the only idiots tripping!” She snapped back.

     “Well, I don’t!”

     “Okay then, so vat else is vong?”

     “Dat, Ms, I would like to discuss wida qua…doc- please.”

     “Ummmm, okay then…take your clothes off, put this gown on, opening to the back. The quack…err, Dr. Schmitt vill be vid you shortly."

     Gus wanted to crack up, but he thunk better of it, and instead did as he was instructed. The doctor was an old German fellow, and like his nurse had a similar heavy accent. When He entered the room, he looked at Gus, and says,

     “Ahh jeong man, vat is yar name?”

     “Montgomery, sir.”

     “An vat is vong vit joo?”

     “I has trouble peeing sir, and sometimes it hoits real bad.”

     “Uhummmm, an you has fever, palpitations, an your joints are in pain too, uh?”

     “Yes sir!”

     “So let’s have a look at you!”

      Gus just looked at him as he sat down.

     “Vell den please standz up, und liffs up your gown, vee needs to see vat der problem ist, eh.”
 
     After he examined his weiner, and made him cough, he told Gus to turn around, and bend over. Like a robot he did as he was told, after all he was in a doctor’s hands and he was going to be healed. In his state of mind he would have done anything, so he didn’t think about it when he was told to bend over. While he was turning around, the quack put a rubber glove on, and dipped it in petroleum jelly, as he said,

     “Diz may be liddle un con for tababable, noting painful, ja!”