Day CXXll

My Fix

     It was relaxing, and calming, it was what I thought I needed to wind down. That nicotine fix is what it was, and is. That went on for a long time, and every time I had coffee, I had to have my smoke, I needed my fix.

      Sometimes, I also enjoyed a nice cool glass of wine in the evenings, and yea I had my smoke with that too. It was very tough for me to drink either without lighting up. If I was at a party, or a bar I enjoyed my scotch and water, and of course my smoke. It was tough to have any of those drinks, and not smoke.

     Eventually I gave up coffee too, caffeine irritates my nerves. But, who knows maybe the caffeine irritated my nerves, and the smoke was evening things out. I long ago gave up on the scotch, but I still like a little wine once in a while. Though I didn’t drink alcohol again until I was done with the smokes, and it took me a long time to get over the urge to light up with my wine.

     Believe me when I say I empathize, it took me 20+ years to quit. But I did it, so if I can, anybody else can- it can be done. People are doing it every day. When you know why you want to quit, you’re able to forge your desire to quit. Because before you can really quit, you really need to want to, otherwise you won’t really quit. Your will power will be weak, and what will you do when you’re with a group, drinking a beer, having a cup of tea or coffee, and somebody pulls out a pack, and says:

     “Smoke!” as someone always seems to do.