Day CCXCVIII

Dumped

   “Discretion! I should be da vun vat has uses a liddle discretion, ha!” he  responded, and left the room.

      By the time Gus settled with the nurse, Gloria was long gone.

     Once outside, he looked at me,

     “Man, I should neva has told haw wa da clinic was, ya na.”

     “Too late na, dude.”

     “Ya gotta smoke?” He found his pack empty, crumpled it in disgust, and threw it on the sidewalk. He was speechless, and almost in tears, because he really loved Gloria.

     “Man it wuz jest sex, man…it dint mean nuting, yo…why cain’t women unastand dat shit, uh?”

     He really needed a smoke, so into the deli we went for a pack. Smoking is a real bitch of a habit, sometimes like a jealous, wicked witch. Some things will set off the craving stonger than others, when we get ourselves in trouble, get caught with our pants down, the urge becomes stronger than we can control.

     St. Augustine said that peace is a simple heart, one that wants little; a serene mind, one that is calm; and a loving soul. That may sound simple, perhaps to a saint, but for the rest of us…it’s something that’s very hard to do. In this age, we all want things we can’t afford, so we smoke. If we can’t have the things we think we need, err…want, we smoke all the more. If we can discipline ourselves to want less, our minds will be at ease. I suppose loving some one may make it easier to to be at ease, making us want less, since two can live as cheaply as one. So if we have those two, then the other one comes naturally…a serene mind, ergo peace, and the strength to do what our hearts want to do...i.e. stop bad habits.