Day CCCVI

Tote Bags an Vino

      She took it, wiped her face, smiled and

      “Thanks, man, but watcha doing hea?”

      “I used to come hea alla time, but it’s been a while. Hey howz ya pal?”

      “Who pal?”

      “Moe…Mo…Moigana!”

      “Oh no dude, she wasn’t my pal, she was somebody I woiked wit, ya na.”

      “So ya ain’t seen haw again?”

      “Det shitty hoe! Nah, an good riddance, man. Jest da mention of haw freaking ass, and I wanna hurl. Why ya wanna make me membah dat freaking night all over again? Don’t ca if I neva see haw skanky ass again, neida.”

      “Shitty hoe?” I played dumb.

      “Oh ya dint na, uh...he hee hee!”

      “Na wat?”

      “Well, since we ain’t gon be seeing haw funky ass again, we may as well sha a laff dude.”

     So, she ran down the whole story to me again, from her perspective. Telling me how Morgana shit herself.

     “Shit hawsef!” I said, raising my eyebrows, pretending awe.

     “He hee heee! Yea dude, she facking sheet hawsef, man. Well ta be fair I peed on myself too. But, we wuz scaid, man. We thunk dem daid mofos wuz vampires, and det lil midget guy, cute an all, but we thought he wuz Frankenstein’s helper. Igor, right?

    “No no, his name is Iggy!”

     “Well he don tol us Igor, and when he said Igor we fweaked, man.  Det wuz some strong acid, dude.”

      “Damn, jest how much sheet ditcha put in da?”

      “Ida na, all I had, bout fo, fi tabs. I wanned ta git da pahtay rolling, man.”

      “Sounds like ya wanned ta staht an oigy girl.”

      “Yea det too, boot tings happened. Det dumb mofo sent us down dem stairs ta hail man, an alla sheet came flying at us, man. Evyting was ruined.” She lamented.