The Tail
Anyway, that was a
well dressed dude, and I didn’t think he was homeless. He was squatting there,
on his haunches, smoking, and nervously looking about. Then I realized as I got
closer that he was taking a freaking dump.
“Ya modah!” I hollered.
He looked up at me as
I ran towards him. I really don’t know what I was going to do, as I dread the thunk that I may have even put my hands on
him. He got up really fast, tried to pull his pants up, and run at the same
time. As he did this, it looked to me as though he had a tail, and it also seemed as
though he was trying to shake it loose. He shook his ass from side to side as he ran,
and in hindsight the whole thing was kind of comical.
As he ran up the
stairs, shaking his ass, it dropped. The freaking tail fell, and he disappeared into the maze of tunnels at the top. When I
reached the spot I saw the very disgusting reality. Where the hell are the cops when
you need them! That asshole planted a humongous turd in the middle of the stairs,
and he got away with it. A long time ago the city closed all the freaking
toilets in the subway, so if you really got to go, you may have no choice. Blame the city I
guess, but that guy had motivation, it was either that or shit himself. We need to
look at our smoking habit in the same light. We are shitting up our lungs, and our
health when we smoke.
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